Lawyers visit

Hi everyone, I just had the first visit with my Hubby’s Lawyer this week and I can tell you i for one am scared… I Do not like this man and I do not trust him. Ok a little background is needed here My hubby is in contempt for not paying childsupport for 2 and a half months child support ruffly 5 thousand dollars worth. Her attorney wanted us to pay 10 thousand dollars..

this was his deal so my hubby didnt have to go to court. Our lawyer thought this would be a good idea.. I told him No it would not be a good idea we can not afford it! First thing he said to this was that my hubby could afford to pay 200 dollars more a month because technically he is only paying 45% of his income in child support! Ok this made me a tad mad. Then the man has the gall to tell me to get a job So my hubby can pay his child support! OK this threw me through the roof! I told Mr. Attorney man that it would be a cold day in hell before I would work to pay my husbands child support! We finally decided on offering her 6500. with 5 being for back child support and 1500 for attorneys fees.

I forced him to make the attorneys fees separate so that I can bankrupt on them next month when we file. We also brought up the fact that she has not been allowing visitation And in the process is in contempt herself! Basically he said it didn’t matter, My husband has no rights and obviously we cant afford to try and get her for contempt because he said he would charge us 6 thousand to do it! This man is supposed to be in our corner? Im scared! We are supposed to go to Court Friday if the witch doesn’t agree, Which she wont, Shes like that!

As far as suing the councelor

As far as suing the counselor – Right now it is her and my ex’s word against me.

However once you bring it to court – She and the ex will be required to testify and give proof to her claim that I am not mediation material. The counselor’s notes would be supeona’d. Already I have talked with a different lawyer and she stated I already have sufficient evidence to have the counselor’s license to be revoked. Now as far as job loss being a possibility – it is because I have had to take time out to get the court items ready.

And as true with almost all companies, they only tolerate so much before letting people go. With all of the things that are going on I am pretty sure that the ex is wishing she had mediated now. I will keep club posted as to the progress if that will be helpful to others going through this process.

Well I’m new here…..

Hi, first let me start off by saying that I’m glad that there is a club like this for us dad’s. This is my situation. I am a married man who is now separated from my wife. This is not a legal separation. No one took another to court. But there is an order of protection out against me. But that was all B.S that she told the courts.

Anyway, she will not let me see my 1 year old daughter who I haven;t seen since Oct8th.

What can I do as far as the court system. I am in NYC, The Bronx… She wont take any calls from me or my family. I feel that there is no hope as of yet. I have been feeling so lost in all of this. I had went the first time to family court when she took out the order of protection.

The judge asked her why she wont let me see my daughter. She said that she didn’t want me too. And that she was afraid that I would run with my daughter. Wich is all a lie. So now I want to file something against her. What is there to do? NEED HELP !!!!!!!! Please :o) Peter

If I understand correctly, you got a TRO

Were there any charges filed? All of this helps your case. In my case, I was the one charged. I did it. It was really a first time for me. Charges were never even filed.

The judge at the temp hearing did not give it any weight and I retained custody. You have custody now? That also helps. Courts are usually pretty good at granting at least one continuance (sp) for any good reason. The judge seems to be in your corner if he told you it was OK to move. Keep those lines of communication open. Focus on why you are the better parent. Judges don’t want to hear you trashing the other parent. If it is relevant, use it. If not, don’t.

I have a lot of feces on my ex, but won’t use it because it would make her even more mad and my job of raising my children harder. At the same time, I’m not going to give all this info to her, either. Pray for peace, but plan for war.

To answer your question, when my wife was arrested, the police took pics, then I went to see the DA, who was clearly against charging this poor innocent girl with felony assault the police originally grabbed her for. He said he pressed for an order of prot from criminal court which I was awarded, and when she appears for the charge, they will only press for misdemeanor harassment as my injuries did not constitute a felony assault(yeah right).

I immediately went to Fam Court and got the original order modified and showed the judge my arm, he then gave me temp cust. and said she had to leave the house. I told him her fam lives all over the area and I am afraid for our safety, so he said to go to moms and said my wife can’t go there either. Tomorrow I go to the gallows and will beg for a stay of execution, as it will be a different judge.

I had to give up the home

I had to give up the home as I could not afford the attourney bills, and I asked the judge who modified the Order of Prot. if I could leave because I felt danger for my son and myself living in the area, he said OK.

She was also allowed to return w/police to get her clothes for 15 min, then ordered to leave. Told the judge I would move in w/mom temporarily as she will help watch my son. Rent is very expensive in NYC and I can’t afford to pay a lawyer and pay rent, it is not possible at this moment.

She is going to lie her head off, but I do have some evidence if they will let me use it that she composed two emails to her ex and her friend clearly lining out her plans to take my son out of country while I was away and she could not let anyone else find out.

I got the order 1st because she was a flight risk, 2nd because I was tired of her hitting me, but I only have documentation of the one time she was arrested for Dom. Violence, which she will contest since it is her 1st offense. What else can I do????

Any tips?

Hello everyone. Tomorrow I go to court to ask for an adjournment as I just retained a lawyer and he is not available to represent me at the proceedings. It is my 1st adjournment. I have already served her with a modified order of Prot. which also granted me temp. custody of my son as she was locked up for assaulting me.

She served me contesting the order stating I am unfit to care for the child, and to appear at another date for spousal supp. indicating that since the date I served her I have not provided her support. She was removed and told to stay away from the home, which I have since given up because her whole fam lives by and has threatened me. My fear is that regardless of what has happened and that I initiated all the orders, the judge will rule that the best interest of the child is with the mother.

Then she is going after me for everything. What can I do? She has pics of me a few years ago when I was wild, but since have reformed my life. Never been arrested, fired, etc… I don’t know where I am going with this, but can anyone post a reply with any tips? I don’t want to loose my son to a woman who was secretly planning to kidnap him. He is my everything, my every breath.

What happened in court today!

OK went to court and they didn’t even read my lawyers’ request for an adjournment till it was over. Her lawyer stood there and showboated that his client is a good Irish mom and that the arrest was going to be contested as she was innocent and what not guilty, will fight the charge in criminal court to prove her innocence.

Also stated several times she is NOT a flight risk like I originally said in my first to petitions to the court. She showed up with her whole fam and I was alone as mine is a small family who works for a living.. Also said his client was not informed that the apt was given up and that she had no where to go. Now I asked the judge who issued the Modified order if I could move out because

  • A: I cant afford to keep it with the price of an attorney and
  • B: I feared for my life living in that neighborhood as her whole family lives there.

He said that is OK, so I moved my son and I to moms temporarily. Also told my lawyer (I’d even had to get cash loan here to pay him), and he said OK, put her stuff in storage. Today’s judge said to appear tomorrow with my attorney present to discuss this matter as she has petitioned for support and wants me to provide her with a residence. Also bring the child and they appointed a Law Guardian from the court.

My attorney is locked into another case and can’t make it. The judge let her attorney pick the time and dday that he would like to show up, and I get slammed as I now have to show and ask for a 2nd adjournment. Someone please help… I am going to get killed in there tomorrow and I just know they will take my son away from me now.

My horrible custody battle…..

Found your blog and find it very helpful…. Please read the following post and let me know if you can derive anything from it. Hello all, I just wanted to drop a line and give an example of the legal drama I am going through at the hands of a deceptive woman I thought loved me. We were married for about 8 months, and our child is 4 months old. It was a long distance relationship from the US to Ireland were she is from. She became pregnant and had our child here in the US. Things quickly fell apart after her family came here to visit for the Christening, and I was the victim of months of verbal abuse after that visit, as her family tried to convince her to come home.

To get to the punch quickly, I came across evidence on my hard drive, word for word that she was conspiring with her mother and sister in Ireland to sneak the child back there when I was to go away for a few days for my birthday in April. The email was to her ex-boyfriend and to one of her best friends. I immediately went to court to get an order of protection against her and told the female judge this woman was unstable and could resort to violence. She only gave me an order barring her from leaving the US with my son, and made me continue to live in the same house with this woman. After she was served she became very hostile towards me and continued to try and provoke me to fight her to get me arrested. On 3/5/2000, we both had a verbal argument after I accused her of removing some of my legal docs after I went to the bathroom.

She then started yelling and I went to call the police. She chased me to my room where the phone is and ripped it from my hands and out of the wall. She then threw it at me and it bruised my left forearm. I ran out of the house and called police who then arrested her for felony assault. The police were clearly on her side and gave me bad info, that if I did not go to court to press charges, she would be released that day. Since I did not want this to happen, I refused initial medical treatment and went to the court. When I spoke to the DA, they had decided to reduce the charges to misdemeanor assault/harassment. The judge who saw her for the assault also issued her and order of protection to stay away from me. You could just imagine what they would have done to me if the roles were reversed! I went to family court the next day and got the original order modified to keep her away from my son and I, my house, work and mothers’ house as she has a rough family who live all around the area we lived together initially. We are now staying with my mother temporarily and I have Temporary full custody of my child for 2 weeks until we go to court.

She showed up at my moms’ with the police last night to serve me with a summons to appear in court the day after we go to family court, most probably to get back custody of my child. Right now I am struggling to get an attorney to fight her for a Divorce and Full Custody of my child. She is an alcoholic but unfortunately it is undocumented so I can’t prove it. It is killing me that this person could possible get him again, and have me pay her way the rest of her life. Her status with the INS right now is in limbo as I removed all petitions on her behalf. If the court awards her custody I can kiss my son goodbye as she can then leave the US with him and I can’t stop her at all.

Also, since she has been at home with him since he was born and I work for a living, I feel they will give her custody just on that fact alone. Please pass this on to any fathers who might be helped by this story, and remember, never hit the woman! Even when you are in the right, as you can see by the hoops I have to jump through, the odds are stacked against you. You alone can fight back but fight for the sake of the children, and do it in the legal system.

If only many more women had that option

it’s great your mum will be with you, if only many more women had that option, just knowing she will be there for some would put their minds at ease. Anyway, Olga and I will be with you throughout the ‘active’ part of labor, meaning when you are contracting every 2-3 minutes and making cervical change.

Sometimes we may have to pop out but usually that is if your contractions have spaced out or you are not in need of us for example when there is an epidural in place and both you and the baby are doing well then we feel a bit ‘redundant’. Everyone is different but rest assured, we will be there for you when you relly need us to be there. Childbirth prep classes are great and wither at Blossom or with El Camino are fine. Olga and I both teach at El Camnio so if you decide to go there see if you can join our class.

Olga teaches more often so the chances are quite high to get her. I think I will be teaching again in January, when is the baby due?

The hypnotherapy I think is a great idea and like everything it needs to be practised. We are very supportive of any relaxation technique our mums wish to use and although we are not ‘trained’ as such in hypnotherapy we will do all we can to encourage you. In my experience of hypnotherapy during labor, the mums and their coach have usually got it down to a fine art and I have often been an on-looker with added support when needed.
Hope that is helpful, look forward to seeing you in December

I know what you mean and thanks for your reply

I know what you mean and thanks for your reply. However, I am delivering my baby at El Camino Hospital where you are allowed a maximum of 3 support people during labor (and no tag teams!) so with my midwife (whom I am hoping will also come prepared with numerous tricks up her sleeve when it comes to easing my efforts in labor! ie massage, positions etc) my husband and my mother present, that would fill my quota.

Also I am thinking that having 4 people trying to support me at one time might be a bit of an overload…it’s kind of like: too many cooks…..?

Keeping in mind that at El Camino you also have one nurse assigned to you during active labor as well!

Besides, I am feeling quite fortunate to have a midwife. If I would “only” have my Ob/Gyn, who would rush in just in time for the pushing part of it, I would definitely want a doula!! 😉

Thank you to all of you for taking the time to answer my questions, it makes making these decisions so much easier!

Am I the only pregnant woman on this list with questions btw? It really it awfully quiet in here ;-)))