Author archives: maradmin

So there we were in the counselor’s temporary office

So there we were in the counselor’s temporary office (which happened to be the same building that our doctor used as well). And we were going back and forth. I finally stated enough is enough. The marriage is over and lets accept that fact – now we can either get mediation and refrain from incurring more debt and we can each get lawyers and let the battle shift to the courts. With that I told the counselor that quite frankly she stank as a counselor and then I gave my wife 2 weeks to tell me which way we were going. With that I left and walked over 10 miles home.

When the time came I was not sure what the answer would be, I really was hoping that both the counselor and my soon to be ex had some intelligence but ex stated that the counselor stated to flat out that I was not mediation material and that the children had rights that I didn’t even know about. That my friends was the beginning of hell that will not end. So I then went to my lawyer, hired him and had her served with papers. At this point my lawyer has requested documents and answers to questions and her attorney did the same thing to me. I have to have my questions answered and back to the lawyer by tax date. Now as a result of all of this there is going to be at least one more law suit on the books.

You see once this is all finished, I am going back and filing several motions against the counselor for her irreverent look into the marriage. If possible I will see that she is disbarred from practicing and will see to it that any financial or emotional strain I receive she will get it too. I did ask several different lawyers and even my current lawyer and they all agree, I do have a legitimate case against the counselor for not pushing the mediation. The moral(s) of the story are – stay away from the courts – resolve the marriage conflict some how if there are children involved. And push for mandated mediation is respective of anyone’s rights. The moment the court gets involved – everyone’s rights have just been subverted.


Accountability

I think that is absolutely absurd that the recipient of Child Support is not in the least accountable for how the money is spent.

Why do we call it Child Support if there is no accountability to ensure that it is in fact going toward support of the children. I am a non-custodial father who has been making regular child support payments for several years. And I know that much of the money I send for “Child Support” never gets spent on the children. It is infuriating that I have no recourse to ensure that my Children are properly provided for when they are with their mother.

As far as standard of living goes, my standard of living in terms of being able to provide for the children when they are with me is greatly reduced as a result of the child support payments that I make each month. What about the non-custodial parents ability to maintain a standard of living sufficient to provide for the children when they are with him/her?


Child Support – Standard of Living

Again, I have to refer back to “equal rights for women.” Why does a woman suddenly become a weak, helpless maiden who requires to have her standard of living protected by a man when she gets a divorce? Why isn’t she held responsible for achieving or maintaining that standard of living if she’s so needy of it?

Why don’t the courts take into consideration the man’s “standard of living” in terms of his access and rights to his children. Obviously, he was used to seeing his children frequently when he was married and he had an input on their upbringing and discipline, so why isn’t he allowed to maintain that “standard of living”? I am soooo glad I am not a man. I think I would probably be behind bars from foaming at the mouth in a crazy fit at the injustices of the family court system!

I tell my teenage children often: no matter how much in love they are, they should prepare some sort of pre-marital agreement before marrying in regard to children and visitations in case of a divorce. Something legal agreed to by his future wife that if they have any children and ever get a divorce, in very specific terms, his visitations and child support obligations are spelled out in the agreement. Not a guarantee but at least something to hold onto during a divorce.


More feminism

I read in my local paper that a study showed children raised in single father homes where more likely to be drug users.

Funny how they forgot to mention that 75% of the children living in single mother homes where more likely to suffer from depression, suicide and also where more likely to be murdered.

Oh well our lawyers and judges don’t want the truth out.


Modification of a custody order

‘Courts have generally held that interference by a child’s custodian with the visitation rights of the noncustodial parent constitutes a ground for modification of a custody order… reasoning that one who willfully disobeys a valid court order concerning visitation rights, and shows such little respect for constituted authority, can hardly lay claim to being the best custodian for a child.’

For example: ‘Court did not err in changing physical custody from mother to father where court found that mother repeatedly, intentionally, and unjustifiably denied and interfered with father’s visitation rights on numerous occasions and that she regularly violated court orders regarding visitation, where court further found that mother repeatedly filed numerous, unfounded reports of abuse against father and was convicted on two counts of filing false reports, where court concluded that mother’s behavior and actions were not in best interests of child, and where court observed that several investigations associated with mother’s false reports had been traumatic for child. Beyer v Tranelli-Ashe (1993, App Div, 4th Dept) 600 NYS2d 598.’ However, in other cases, ‘custody should not be changed when to do so would punish a parent for past behavior and where there is no proof of a detrimental effect on the child or children…’

Thus the father is usually burdened with the proof of showing detrimental effects on his children — even when the mother violates custody orders. Yet there seems to be an implicit doctrine that ‘if either parent should attempt to influence the child to disrepect or to lose her affection for the other, such a parent would forfeit all claim to the child’s custody.’ An extremely detailed case law discussion can be found